


The Lucky One

by Dusty_Forgotten



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-24
Updated: 2014-04-24
Packaged: 2018-01-20 16:49:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1517918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dusty_Forgotten/pseuds/Dusty_Forgotten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lucky One

**Author's Note:**

> Based off a picture by olivatre on Deviantart (who has since stored the picture).
> 
> [The Lucky Ones by Lana Del Rey](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XIsKiVZPb8)

Dean’s lucky, he supposes. All his friends have gotten a visit from the Jehovah's Witnesses with wings, except Dean. Sam’s met him in a strip club, sucking on a lollipop. Sam still went to Stanford, but he majored in religious studies. Charlie’s was at a video game convention. She’s rewriting the Bible in elvish. Adam’s broke into his house; currently they lead a cult in Argentina.

Bobby’s the unlucky one. He didn’t get an angel, see, he got one of the other ones. Fallen angel. Demon. He killed himself at that thing’s command. That’s what they do, the angels. They each have their chosen one, and they go, and they convince you to convert and worship their God, and it always works, because they chose you because they connect with you.

Dean’s lucky. He’s pushing thirty, pushing sixty on the highway, and still hasn’t gotten his holy wake-up call. Maybe he’s one of those people that just doesn’t get one. Maybe none of the angels want him.

 _Yes_ , he thinks as he hums along with the cassette, _I’m one of the lucky ones._

“Excuse me sir, can you spare a moment for Jesus Christ?”

“HOLY MOTHER OF-!” Dean shrieks, and swerves into a cornfield. He yanks the wheel, throwing the angel off his roof, and spins out, stomping the brakes, nearly hits him where he falls in the dirt, _oh my fuck, don’t run over the angel, please don’t run over the innocent, defenseless angel-_

The angel glances up at him in the briefest of seconds before Dean turns him into roadkill, and the Impala just stops. Dean screams into the airbag for a moment, and finally processing _I am alive, I am not dead, I think my name’s Dean something,_ he gasps and swats the airbag down. He heaves a few breaths, shuts his eyes, and leans his forehead on the steering wheel.

“Is this a bad time?” comes the voice that has taken up residence in his passenger seat.

Dean is, in fact, a grown-ass man, and not the little girl he’s screaming like as he throws the door open, fights fruitlessly to escape before he realizes he’s still wearing a seatbelt, and faceplants into the cornstalks his tires crushed. He jumps to his feet, panting. The angel’s still in the car before he blinks, and then he’s standing right in front of him after.

“Can you PLEASE stop DOING THAT!?” The Winchester shouts, still catching his breath.

“I’m sorry; am I doing this incorrectly? I have not converted anyone before.”

Dean glares at him pitifully, considering how terrified he still looks. “Usually you wanna keep ‘em alive, yeah!”

“Oh. My apologies.”

Dean looks at the guy- really looks- and has some difficulty stopping. He’s tall, elegant but built, with the enviable dark hair kicking around wildly in the country wind, and his eyes- _his eyes!_ He could compare them to the sky, the ocean, sapphires, but none of those are remotely blue enough. The best part about the angel’s eyes is that is that they’re looking back at him.

“My name is Castiel. I am an angel of the Lord.”

Dean closes his mouth and swallows his pride. “Dean. Winchester.”

Castiel cocks his head. “I know.”

For a moment, they’re just staring at each other, having thousands of silent conversations neither of them understand, their gazes just fit.

Then Cas opens his big, dumb, adorable mouth. “Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour?”

Suddenly, Dean understands why it’s so easy for the angels to turn secular sinners into pastors. You’d do anything for your soulmate.


End file.
